livealiens:

#brownamericanproblems

(via coluring)

Kristen Stewart on her fame whore dad.

(via coluring)

gacob:

they were right. guns don’t kill people. people kill people. people are now illegal and the crime rate is zero

(via dutchster)

fight-0ff-yourdem0ns:

I just wanna have abs…olutely all the pasta and breadsticks

(via trashedqueen)

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wow he sure is hungry

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no no that’s just the way all kids eat cereal these days — face first

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i’m hip

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(via dutchster)

chronicdelight:

jbillz709:

The Selfie Hand Shake

I’m making this a thing

chronicdelight:

jbillz709:

The Selfie Hand Shake

I’m making this a thing

(via laugh-til-ya-fart)

ask-koki-kariya:

lastofthetimeladies:

im-a-timelord-you-ass:

lastofthetimeladies:

lastofthetimeladies:

MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?

Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party

Do you

omfg

(via shipeveryonewithsomeone)